The other day, I caught myself wondering something that probably makes me sound older than I feel:
When did we stop using our phones to actually talk to each other?
I know, I know. I sound like the guy yelling at clouds. But hear me out.
Over the last few years, I’ve noticed a major shift in how people communicate—not just in real estate, but everywhere. Phone calls have been replaced by text messages. Conversations have been replaced by emails. And in many cases, meaningful communication has been replaced by short, rushed messages that leave far too much open to interpretation.
As someone who has spent more than 26 years helping buyers and sellers navigate some of the biggest financial decisions of their lives, I find that a little frustrating. And honestly, a little sad.
Don’t get me wrong. I use text messages and email every day. They absolutely have their place. Sometimes you need a written record. Sometimes you need to send detailed information. Sometimes a quick text is the most efficient way to communicate.
But there are situations where a five-minute phone call can accomplish more than twenty emails and fifty text messages.
One of the biggest reasons is something we often overlook: tone.
Tone doesn’t always translate through text. It doesn’t always translate through email. What one person intends as a simple question can be interpreted by someone else as criticism. A short response can seem rude when it wasn’t meant that way at all. Before you know it, two people are frustrated with each other when neither intended any harm.
I’ve seen this happen during negotiations.
I’ve seen buyers misunderstand sellers. Sellers misunderstand buyers. Agents misunderstand agents.
And sometimes, those misunderstandings create problems that never needed to exist in the first place.
That’s why I’ll often send an email or text and then follow it up with a phone call. Yes, it can feel redundant. But I’d rather spend a few extra minutes making sure I’m understood than risk creating confusion that could impact a transaction.
When I’m representing a buyer or seller, clear communication isn’t optional. It’s part of my job.
A deal can fall apart because of financing issues, inspections, appraisals, or market conditions. It shouldn’t fall apart because two people couldn’t effectively communicate.
I’ve noticed that many newer agents seem wired differently when it comes to communication. They live on text messages. They prefer email. Some almost look nervous when their phone rings.
I’m the exact opposite.
Anyone who knows me knows that I answer my phone. A lot.
Even when I’m on vacation.
That’s both a blessing and a curse, but I’ve always believed that if someone takes the time to call me, they probably need to talk to me.
To me, there’s a level of respect involved.
Years ago, I learned a simple rule: respond in kind.
If someone calls you, call them back.
If someone texts you, text them back.
If someone emails you, email them back.
Different communication methods have different levels of urgency. A text message generally requires a quicker response than an email. An email can often wait until you have the time to give a thoughtful answer.
For example, I actually prefer receiving showing feedback through email. If an agent is out showing homes all day, they probably don’t want their phone ringing every five minutes asking for feedback. An email allows them to respond when they’re ready.
And that’s perfectly reasonable.
But when there is a problem, a negotiation, a question, or a misunderstanding, nothing beats an actual conversation.
The funny thing is that many people seem to view a ringing phone as bad news.
I don’t.
If something is wrong, I’d rather know now than six hours from now when someone finally checks their inbox.
A phone call allows questions to be asked immediately. It allows clarification. It allows emotion and intent to be heard. Most importantly, it allows people to solve problems together instead of talking past each other.
Technology has made communication faster than ever.
I’m just not convinced it’s made us better at communicating.
Maybe it’s time we remembered that the smartest feature on our smartphones isn’t the camera, the apps, or the AI.
It’s still the ability to talk to another human being.
And sometimes, that’s exactly what we should do.