By David Dorman | Broker Associate, CENTURY 21 Carioti | Central Florida Real Estate
I’m going to do something a little different with this blog. This one is directed primarily at my fellow real estate agents, especially those who are new to the business or struggling to find their footing. But if you’re thinking about buying or selling a home, I hope you’ll read along, too. You might come away with a better understanding of what really happens behind the scenes in our profession.
When I owned my real estate brokerage, one of the things I genuinely enjoyed was mentoring agents. I liked sharing what I’d learned, helping them navigate difficult situations, and preparing them for some of the realities of this business that nobody seems to talk about in real estate school.
Because let’s face it. From the outside, real estate looks pretty glamorous.
You see agents showing beautiful homes, driving nice cars, celebrating closings, and posting pictures of happy clients holding oversized keys. It can look like a relatively easy way to make a very good living.
And it absolutely can be a wonderful career.
But what you don’t see are the sleepless nights, the deals that fall apart, the months without a paycheck, and the countless hours spent working with people who ultimately never become clients.
That’s the part of real estate I want to talk about today.
The Reality of Starting a Real Estate Career
There’s a reason so many people enter the real estate business only to leave within their first few years.
The transition can be brutal, especially for someone coming from a traditional corporate job.
Think about it. When you work for a company, you generally know when your next paycheck is coming. You can plan your mortgage payment, car payment, vacations, and household expenses around a relatively predictable income.
In real estate, that certainty disappears.
You might work 50 or 60 hours in a week and earn absolutely nothing. You might spend three months helping a buyer find a home, only to have the transaction fall apart days before closing.
And unlike a salaried employee, you don’t automatically get paid for the time you’ve invested.
You get paid when a transaction successfully closes.
That’s a very different financial and emotional reality, and it’s one that many new agents aren’t adequately prepared for.
After more than 26 years in this business, I can tell you that learning how to manage your expectations is every bit as important as learning how to write a contract.
And that brings me to something that happened recently.
When a Potential Client Just Disappears
I was recently communicating with a woman who was planning to relocate to Central Florida with her father.
They were looking to purchase a home in the $700,000 to $800,000 range, and they were planning to pay cash.
We had several conversations, exchanged lengthy text messages, and discussed what they were hoping to find. Everything seemed to be progressing nicely.
She was scheduled to arrive on a Wednesday, and I was looking forward to helping them explore their options.
Then, about a week before her arrival, communication stopped.
No response to my text messages.
No returned phone calls.
No replies to my emails.
Nothing.
And naturally, my mind started going in a dozen different directions.
Did something happen to her or her father? Was there a family emergency? Did their plans change? Did I say something that offended her? Had they decided to work with someone else?
You start replaying conversations in your head, trying to figure out what went wrong.
Wednesday came and went.
I never heard another word.
Now, could there be a perfectly reasonable explanation? Absolutely. And I sincerely hope everything is okay with them.
But the reality is that sometimes people simply disappear, and you never find out why.
In today’s world, I suppose we’ve come to call that ghosting.
And unfortunately, it happens in real estate more often than most people realize.
And Then It Happened Again
Around the same time, I had another prospective client contact me through my real estate website.
They were first-time homebuyers looking for an agent in the area. We had a great initial conversation and exchanged several emails.
I felt good about the opportunity.
That weekend, I had a three-day trip planned out of town. Now, anyone who knows me knows that being out of town doesn’t mean I’m unreachable. I still answer my phone, respond to emails, and stay connected with my clients.
Apparently, these buyers decided to accelerate their timeline.
Rather than reaching out to let me know they were coming sooner than expected, they arrived in the area, connected with another agent, and purchased a property.
Just like that.
Another opportunity was gone.
And this one was particularly frustrating because I could have easily arranged for someone to assist them while I was away. That’s one of the advantages of having relationships with other experienced agents.
There was a solution available. I just never had the opportunity to offer it.
To be fair, these were first-time buyers. They probably didn’t understand how the process works or realize that a quick phone call could have kept everything moving forward.
I don’t believe they intended to be inconsiderate.
But that doesn’t mean the experience wasn’t disappointing.
That’s Potentially $1.5 Million in Business That Disappeared
Between those two situations, I was looking at approximately $1.5 million in potential real estate transactions.
Let’s put that into perspective.
At a hypothetical 2.5% commission rate, that’s $37,500 in potential gross commission income.
Not take-home pay, of course. There are brokerage expenses, business costs, taxes, and plenty of other financial obligations that come with running a real estate business.
And commissions are negotiable, not guaranteed.
But regardless of how you calculate it, that’s a significant amount of potential income.
Gone.
And yes, I got angry.
I was frustrated. I was disappointed. And for a little while, I was in a pretty foul mood.
I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
After 26 years, you’d think I’d be immune to this sort of thing.
I’m not.
It still feels like a gut punch when you believe you’re building a relationship with someone, only to discover that the opportunity has disappeared.
And I think that’s an important lesson for newer agents.
You’re allowed to be disappointed.
You’re allowed to be frustrated.
You’re even allowed to be angry for a little while.
What you can’t do is allow those feelings to determine what happens next.
What Buyers and Sellers May Not Understand About Real Estate Agents
Here’s where I hope consumers reading this will gain a little perspective.
I occasionally hear people say that real estate agents make too much money for what they do.
They see a commission on a closing statement and assume that represents payment for a few showings, some paperwork, and a couple of phone calls.
What they don’t see is all the work that never results in a paycheck.
The hours spent researching properties for someone who never purchases.
The consultations with sellers who ultimately decide not to list.
The weekends spent showing homes to buyers who change their minds.
The transactions that fall apart after weeks or months of work.
And, yes, the prospective clients who stop responding without explanation.
All of that is part of the business.
I’m certainly not suggesting that anyone owes a real estate agent a commission simply because they’ve had a conversation.
They don’t.
People have every right to change their plans, choose another agent, or decide that buying or selling isn’t right for them.
But a little communication goes a long way.
A simple message saying, “We’ve decided to go in another direction,” or “Our plans have changed,” is all it takes.
That small courtesy allows everyone to move forward without unnecessary uncertainty.
Most people aren’t intentionally being disrespectful. I think they simply don’t always recognize the amount of time, preparation, and personal investment that can go into a professional relationship before a transaction ever begins.
And understanding that difference can make the experience better for everyone.
When One Door Closes, Another One Opens
I’ve always believed that when one door closes, another one opens.
Sometimes that belief gets tested.
And believe me, after losing two promising opportunities in such a short period, I was feeling pretty tested.
But here’s where things get interesting.
This morning, I received a phone call from someone I’ve been working with for more than a year.
Yes, more than a year.
We’ve stayed in touch, discussed possibilities, worked through different scenarios, and waited for the timing to be right.
And now, finally, they’re ready to move forward on a property.
Funny how that happens, isn’t it?
Does that completely erase the disappointment of the other two situations?
No.
Does it make losing those opportunities any less frustrating?
Not entirely.
But it does remind me of something I’ve learned repeatedly throughout my career.
You never know which relationship, which conversation, or which phone call is going to turn into your next closing.
Sometimes the person you thought was ready to buy disappears.
And sometimes the person you’ve patiently worked with for a year calls you out of the blue and says, “We’re ready.”
That’s real estate.
And that’s why you have to learn to play the long game.
The Best Advice My First Broker Ever Gave Me
When I first got into real estate, my original broker shared a piece of advice that has stayed with me throughout my entire career.
It’s simple, but I genuinely believe it’s one of the most important lessons any real estate agent can learn.
“Take care of the client, and the rest will follow.”
Think about that for a moment.
Not “chase the commission.”
Not “close the deal at all costs.”
Not “figure out how much money you’re going to make.”
Take care of the client.
The rest will follow.
I’ve watched agents throughout my career who, the moment they get a property under contract, have already mentally spent their commission check.
They’re planning vacations, buying things, paying bills, and counting money that hasn’t even been earned yet.
That’s a dangerous way to approach a commission-based business.
A signed contract is not a closing.
An accepted offer is not a paycheck.
And a promising conversation with a potential buyer is certainly not guaranteed income.
Until that transaction closes and the money is actually earned, it’s simply a possibility.
Once you understand that distinction, something changes.
You stop treating every potential commission like money you’ve already made.
You become more realistic about your finances.
You learn to build a business that can withstand disappointments.
And most importantly, you free yourself to focus on what actually matters.
Your clients.
Stop Counting Commissions and Start Building Relationships
One of the biggest differences I’ve noticed between agents who build lasting careers and those who struggle is how they view the people they work with.
Are they looking at a buyer and seeing a potential commission?
Or are they seeing a person who needs guidance, patience, knowledge, and someone they can trust?
Because those are two very different approaches to this business.
I’ve built my career on the belief that if you consistently provide exceptional service, communicate honestly, protect your clients’ interests, and treat people the way you’d want to be treated, the business will follow.
Not necessarily today.
Not necessarily next week.
And sometimes not even this year.
But over time, those relationships become the foundation of a successful real estate career.
People remember how you treated them.
They remember whether you answered the phone.
They remember whether you were patient when they had questions.
They remember whether you were there when things got difficult.
And when the time comes, they remember who they want to call again.
Even better, they tell their friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors about you.
That’s how a real estate career becomes sustainable.
Not by chasing every possible commission, but by building relationships that last long after the closing table.
My Advice to New Real Estate Agents: Don’t Let the Disappointments Define You
If you’re new to real estate, or you’ve been in the business for a few years and you’re wondering whether it’s worth continuing, I want you to understand something.
The disappointments are part of the job.
You’re going to lose clients you thought were yours.
You’re going to have people stop returning your calls.
You’re going to have deals fall apart for reasons completely outside your control.
You’re going to question yourself.
And occasionally, you’re going to have a day when you wonder why you ever got into this business in the first place.
I’ve had those days.
I still have those days.
But I’ve also had the days when a former client calls me after ten years because they wouldn’t dream of using anyone else.
I’ve had the referrals that come from people I helped decades ago.
I’ve had clients who become lifelong friends.
And I’ve had those wonderful phone calls, like the one I received this morning, that remind me why I still love what I do.
Here’s the key: Don’t confuse a lost opportunity with a failed career.
Learn from the situation. Ask yourself whether there was something you could have communicated better or handled differently.
If there was, make the adjustment.
If there wasn’t, accept it and move forward.
You cannot control every decision another person makes.
You can only control how professionally, consistently, and thoughtfully you conduct your business.
And please, for your own financial well-being, learn to budget around money you’ve actually earned, not money you hope to earn.
Twenty-Six Years Later, I’m Still Learning
I started my real estate career in 1999, and after more than 26 years, I can tell you that experience doesn’t eliminate disappointment.
What experience does is give you perspective.
I’ve learned that not every promising lead will become a client.
Not every client will close.
Not every disappointment needs an explanation.
And not every opportunity that disappears is something you could have prevented.
But I’ve also learned that the next opportunity may already be developing quietly in the background.
Sometimes it’s a phone call.
Sometimes it’s a referral.
And sometimes it’s a relationship you’ve been nurturing for more than a year that finally comes together at exactly the right time.
So, to my fellow real estate agents, particularly those just getting started, don’t let a difficult week convince you that you’re in the wrong profession.
Give yourself permission to be frustrated, then get back to doing the things that build a successful business.
Return the calls.
Follow up with your clients.
Keep your commitments.
Be patient.
Be professional.
And remember the advice my first broker gave me all those years ago.
Take care of the client, and the rest will follow.
That philosophy has carried me through 26 years of real estate, through the good markets and bad ones, through the closings that happened and the ones that didn’t.
And it’s the philosophy I’ll continue to follow as long as I’m in this business.
Because at the end of the day, real estate isn’t really about the commission check.
It’s about the people who trust you to help them make some of the biggest decisions of their lives.
Get that part right, and you’re already ahead of the game.
David Dorman is a Broker Associate with CENTURY 21 Carioti, serving buyers and sellers throughout Ocoee, Winter Garden, Windermere, Orlando, Clermont, and the surrounding Central Florida communities. Licensed since 1999, David brings more than 26 years of real estate experience and a relationship-first approach to every transaction.
When you hire David Dorman you GET David Dorman.