One of the harder things about being in real estate is when someone you’ve helped buy a home eventually decides to sell it—and they choose someone else.
I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t bother me. It does.
Recently, I went into one of the platforms I use to keep up with past clients and discovered that someone I had worked with for quite a while had listed their home with another agent. And this wasn’t an insignificant property, either. To make it sting a little more, I had actually been at their home just a few months earlier.
My first reaction was probably the same one most people would have:
What did I do wrong?
Did I not stay in touch enough? Was there something about our previous experience that they weren’t happy with? Did I miss something along the way?
Those are the questions that naturally go through your head.
Real Estate Is a Relationship Business
I make a real effort to stay connected with the people I’ve worked with over the years. Past clients hear from me through email, things I send in the mail, an occasional phone call, social media, and sometimes just a quick message to say hello.
Part of that is business, of course. I’m a Realtor. I certainly hope that when someone I’ve helped thinks about buying or selling real estate again, they’ll think of me.
But there’s more to it than that.
When you help someone buy or sell a home, you often become part of a pretty important chapter in their life. You learn about their families, their jobs, their plans, their frustrations, and sometimes even the things they’re worried about. You spend hours together in homes and on the phone. You work through inspections, appraisals, negotiations, financing issues, moving dates, and all the little surprises that inevitably come up.
So when the transaction closes, you don’t simply forget about those people.
At least I don’t.
That’s probably why it can feel personal when you discover they’ve chosen somebody else.
Sometimes You Never Really Know Why
I want to be very clear about something: I have no ill will toward someone who decides to work with another real estate agent.
People have every right to choose who they want representing them.
If I did something wrong, if they weren’t happy with some part of the service I provided, or if they simply didn’t feel I was the right person for their next move, I can understand that. Obviously, I would prefer to know what happened because feedback—even when it isn’t particularly pleasant—is how we get better at what we do.
But sometimes you never get an answer.
And that’s okay, too.
You can spend a lot of time trying to figure out why someone made a particular decision, but eventually you have to accept that people make choices based on circumstances you may know absolutely nothing about.
That realization helped me look at this particular situation differently.
This person has a very active social life. And as I jokingly say, you can’t throw a stick in this town without hitting a real estate agent.
Chances are, somewhere along the way, she met another agent.
Maybe they became friends. Maybe their spouses became friends. Maybe they see each other regularly socially. Maybe they belong to the same organization, go to the same events, or simply developed a relationship over time.
And when it came time to sell the house, perhaps she thought, I’d like to give this person my business.
You know what?
I understand that.
Relationships Change
I don’t run in the same social circles as every person I’ve ever helped, nor could I possibly maintain a close personal friendship with every client after a transaction is over.
People move. Jobs change. Kids grow up. Neighbors become friends. New friendships develop. People join clubs, churches, organizations, golf groups, social groups, and professional networks.
Life moves forward.
And relationships evolve along with it.
Sometimes another relationship simply becomes stronger or more immediate than the one we had years ago.
That doesn’t necessarily mean I did anything wrong.
And as hard as that can occasionally be to swallow when you’ve invested a lot of yourself into helping someone, I think you have to respect it.
And Then There’s the Other Side of It
Of course, there’s a flip side to all of this—and it’s one of the things I love most about this business.
While some clients may be “one and done,” I have others I’ve had the privilege of working with seven or eight times over the years—and in some cases, I know there’s more on the horizon.
I’ve helped people buy their first home, sell it years later, move into the next one, buy an investment property, downsize, relocate, and sometimes help another generation of their family buy a home. Along the way, they’ve referred friends, family members, coworkers, and neighbors to me as well.
Those are relationships that can span decades.
When you’ve been doing this as long as I have, you start to realize that the houses almost become markers along the timeline of someone’s life. You remember the starter home. You remember when they needed more space. You remember the move that came with a new job, a marriage, retirement, or simply a new chapter.
And eventually you look back and realize, Wow, we’ve done this together seven or eight times.
That means a great deal to me.
So while it’s easy to focus on the occasional client who chooses another agent, that wouldn’t tell the whole story. For every relationship that eventually goes in another direction, there are others that have continued for years—and sometimes decades.
I certainly don’t take those relationships for granted.
In fact, they’re probably the best reminder of why I’ve always believed that real estate isn’t really about the transaction in front of you. It’s about what happens after the closing table, and whether you’ve built a relationship that still matters when the next chapter comes along.
I Can’t Have It Both Ways
There’s also a certain irony here that I have to acknowledge.
Relationships are one of the biggest reasons people choose to work with me in the first place.
I’ve been selling real estate in Central Florida for a long time, and a significant part of my business comes from past clients, referrals, friends, neighbors, and people who know someone I’ve helped.
I’m incredibly grateful for that.
So I can’t celebrate the power of relationships when they bring someone to me and then complain that relationships aren’t fair when they lead someone to another agent.
That’s the deal.
Real estate may involve contracts, houses, inspections, appraisals, interest rates, and negotiations, but ultimately it is still very much a people business.
Yes, It Still Stings
Does knowing all of this mean I’m suddenly delighted when I see a past client’s house listed with somebody else?
Absolutely not.
I’m human.
There will probably always be that initial moment of disappointment, particularly when it’s someone I enjoyed working with or someone I thought I had maintained a good relationship with.
And I’ll probably still ask myself, Was there something I could have done differently?
I actually think asking that question is healthy. After more than two decades in this business, I still want to get better at what I do. I never want to assume that simply because someone worked with me once, I’m automatically entitled to their business forever.
I’m not.
What I can do is work hard for the people who choose me, stay in touch after the closing, make myself available when they need real estate advice, and hopefully give them enough reasons to call me again when the time comes.
After that, the decision belongs to them.
And Sometimes They Come Back
One of the nice things about being in this business for as long as I have is that I’ve also learned not to assume that one decision defines an entire relationship.
Someone may use another agent today and call me five years from now.
Someone I haven’t heard from in ten years may suddenly call because they’re ready to sell.
A former client may refer their child, parent, coworker, neighbor, or friend to me even though we haven’t spoken in years.
I’ve learned that relationships rarely move in perfectly straight lines.
So you don’t burn bridges. You don’t hold grudges. And you certainly don’t stop caring about people simply because they made a business decision that wasn’t the one you hoped they would make.
You wish them well and you keep moving forward.
Because there will always be another phone call, another family, another house, another problem to solve, and another opportunity to build a relationship.
And at the end of the day, relationships are one of the biggest reasons people choose to work with me in the first place.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Thinking About Buying or Selling in Central Florida?
Whether we’ve worked together before, it’s been years since we last spoke, or we’ve never met, I’m always happy to talk real estate.
If you’re considering selling your home, I can provide a current market analysis and give you a realistic idea of what your property may be worth in today’s Central Florida real estate market.
And if you’re thinking about buying a home in Orlando, Ocoee, Winter Garden, Windermere, or anywhere else in Central Florida, I’m happy to talk through the process, the market, and what makes sense for you—without pressure or obligation.
Sometimes all it takes is a conversation.
David Dorman, Broker Associate
CENTURY 21 Carioti
2747 Maguire Rd., Ocoee, FL 34761
Phone: 407-948-8295
Email: [email protected]
Website: DavidDorman.com
Central Florida Real Estate: LiveInOrlandoFL.com
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